It’s easy to feel shy about what you want in bed. Learning the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for will help you encourage your guy to speak up.
Is your guy secretly coveting something in the bedroom, but he’s scared to tell you? There are many things guys like in bed but won’t ask for. Sometimes it’s because they’re scared you’re going to laugh. Other times, it’s because they think you won’t be up for it. They don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable by asking.
If you want to spice up your sex life, why not try asking your guy what he wants between the sheets? It might be enough to prompt him to tell you his deepest desires.
[Read: What men like in bed: 32 things they want & absolutely lust over]
Exploring desires is fun but …
Never do anything that you’re not comfortable with. Just because your boyfriend has spoken up about the things he really wants to try between the sheets doesn’t mean you have to do them.
Of course, if you’re up for it, off you go and enjoy it. However, if it’s a red line for you, or something you’re just not sure about, come up with something else instead. You could just talk about it and perhaps that’s enough to drive him crazy.
Sex needs to be about both of you, so if he tells you he wants to try bondage and you really don’t want to, that’s fine. Or if having a threesome is his biggest fantasy, but you don’t feel the same way, dirty talk about in bed instead.
Explain that you’re really pleased he’s told you about his fantasy, but you’re not keen. He will understand as long as you don’t appear upset or shocked at what he’s told you.
Remember, it’s probably taken a lot of nerve for him to open up and tell you about the things he wants to try in bed. [Read: What do guys like to hear in bed the most? 15 turn-ons he’ll love]
Be mindful of your facial expression and any words that come out of your mouth. But, perhaps you might want to stretch your own experiences too. That means weaving in a few of his fantasies, and of course, yours too.
If you’re looking for a few suggestions, here’s a big list of the top 50 kinky fantasies worth trying at least once with your partner. It’ll give you a lot of great ideas to work with, and excite your man too!
Things guys like in bed but won’t ask for – Prepare to be surprised!
We all have our own secret preferences when it comes to bedroom time. Some things you’re shy to talk about, so you never actually try them out for yourself. However, there are some things which are just standard and happen time and time again. [Read: 16 sex moves to try on your guy and get him hot and horny]
Sex can become quite boring and mundane if you don’t push your boundaries from time to time.
Of course, as before, you should be comfortable with what you’re doing, and your partner must be totally okay with it too. But trying new things can bring a whole new dimension to your sex life. It can bring you closer together as a result.
Here are a few of the most common things guys like in bed but won’t ask for.
1. For you to be completely in charge
Many men find it a total turn on when their partner takes complete control of everything. They’re able to relax and enjoy it all. However, many men won’t tell you this because they’re worried it makes them look lazy, or that you’re not going to want it yourself.
Taking charge gives you a powerful kick. It makes you feel like you have your man’s pleasure completely in the palm of your hand, and it’s a truly heady feeling. Give it a go. You might enjoy it too! This is also one of the most common things guys like in bed but won’t ask for. [Read: How to use the reverse cowgirl sex position to feel completely in control and dominate your man in bed]
2. To be cuddled after sex
We assume that the man has to be the cuddler after sex, but he wants to be cuddled too!
When you’re spooning, turn things around and you be the big spoon. He’ll appreciate that he didn’t have to ask. He’ll feel loved and cherished. Your partner needs to feel that way too! [Read: Do guys like to cuddle? 15 honest truths you don’t know yet!]
3. To be teased to the point of no return
One of the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for is for you to take total charge, but to take things a step further too. They may also want you to tease them to the point where they completely lose it. Again, it’s a power kick for you, and he’s going to feel pleasure like he’s never felt before.
If you’re cool with it, give it a try and see how totally in control you feel. It can be extremely sexy to see your guy totally at your mercy in this way. [Read: How to dominate a man in bed and be the ideal dominatrix goddess]
4. To be woken up with a blow job or a hand job
Ah, the dream that most guys have and many don’t get! Don’t be afraid to be a little cheeky and wake your guy up in the most erotic of ways!
It’s the single best way to start the day, and you’ll certainly make sure that when he opens his eyes, he’ll have a huge smile on his face – and probably for the rest of the day too! [Read: The ultimate blowjob guide on how to give head and 50+ tips to master it like a queen]
5. For you to initiate sex more often
Guys often feel like they have to be the ones to initiate sex, but most guys wish you’d take the pressure off and do it too.
One of the most common things guys like in bed but won’t ask for is for you to surprise him. Let him know that you want him – right now. Of course, it’s scary because you don’t want to be rejected, but let’s be honest, that’s highly unlikely to happen! [Read: How to initiate sex: Turn on your lover in alluring new ways]
6. To try a little light bondage
The kinky antics seen in 50 Shades opened bondage up to the masses. It’s definitely one of the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for. He doesn’t want you to think he’s strange.
There’s nothing strange about wanting to try a little light bondage. In fact, it’s one of the most common sexual preferences around and extremely enjoyable when done with someone you trust. To help you feel better, decide on a safe word and let your imagination run wild! [Read: How to have naughty sex and go crazy in bed with these wild moves]
7. To be given a sexy lap dance
It’s quite possible that your guy would love you to give him a sexy lap dance, or even a striptease.
Yet, he’s not sure how to go about asking you for it. Take the pressure off and jump straight in there instead. He’s bound to enjoy every single second, and the sex afterwards will be sensational as a result. [Read: How to give a sexy lap dance he’ll never ever forget]
8. To see you touching yourself
Sexy time spent alone is quite a personal thing, but many guys get off on seeing you touch yourself in your most intimate of places. It’s one of the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for. They’re worried that you’re not going to be comfortable.
If you want to give it a try and feel self-conscious, close your eyes and simply let yourself be taken away with the sensations. He’ll adore what he’s seeing, and you’ll completely forget he’s watching! [Read: How to finger yourself and bring yourself to ecstasy in front of your guy]
9. For you to talk dirty
How do you feel about talking dirty? Some people love it and find it easy. While others feel super-awkward and can’t get the words out without wanting the ground to open up and swallow them whole. As a result, it’s one of the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for.
Start slowly. Simply tell him what you want him to do to you or how it feels. The more your confidence grows, the more you’ll be demanding what you want in extremely vocal ways! [Read: How to ease into talking dirty in bed without feeling awkward]
10. To try sex somewhere risky
First things first, be careful where you attempt this. Being arrested for public indecency is not to be recommended. However, getting down and dirty somewhere a little risky is definitely a fantasy for many, men included. Because of the risk, he might be loath to suggest you try it.
If you’re equally curious, let him know it’s on your wish list. Then, work out somewhere to give it a try! [Read: 15 risky places to have sex and get your adrenalin racing]
11. For you to actually tell him what you want
We mentioned dirty talk earlier, but telling him what you want doesn’t necessarily mean you have to talk dirty. Take his hand and show him, or just tell him in the best way you possibly can.
It’s one of the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for because they don’t want you to think that they don’t know already.
The thing is, he’s not a mindreader, and unless you tell him what you like or want, he’s not going to know. He wants to make you feel good! [Read: How to tell a guy you want to have sex without feeling slutty]
12. To try role play
Maybe he’d love you to dress up as a naughty nurse or a dominatrix but the’s too scared to actually tell you in case you laugh.
Role play can be super-sexy and it’s great for exploring new sexual situations because the role play can make you feel like you’re someone else. You can almost put on a mask and pretend to be someone else entirely. Let your imagination run free and go with it! [Read: The sexual role-play guide for naughty beginners]
13. To try some serious foreplay on him
This one might sound odd, but bear with me. We often assume that foreplay is for women, but guys love to be teased and built up to the moment too. He might want a sexy massage, a hot bath with you, or for you to tickle his chest with a feather – who knows what he wants!
Foreplay can be super-sexy and really lead to an explosive sexual encounter. It’s one of the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for because there’s a false idea that they’re always supposed to be “ready to go”. [Read: What is foreplay? 17 sexy foreplay rules to get anyone hot & horny]
14. He might want to explore the idea of a threesome
Some guys, not all guys, are really turned on by the idea of a threesome. However, a threesome, like many things in life, is often sexier in the mind than in real life.
It’s one of the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for, or at least they think they’ll like it. They won’t ask you because they don’t want you to run away crying, assuming that you’re not enough for him. That’s not the case, it’s simply a fantasy that many guys have.
If you want to try a threesome, explore the idea together and don’t do anything unless you’re ready. Be prepared for the consequences too, as inviting someone else into your bed is often fraught with complications. [Confession: My first time threesome experience while on holiday with my partner]
15. To try sex toys
Guys enjoy sex toys too! It’s simply that they’re so geared towards women that he might not want to tell you his desires out of fear of you laughing or thinking he’s strange.
There’s nothing wrong with toys for guys and there are many out there if you search. If you’re up for it, look online together and find toys that you’re both interested in trying together.
It might bring a whole new element of pleasure to your sex life. [Read: 13 must-have couple’s sex toys for naughty first timers]
16. To have anal sex
Most guys are pretty turned on by the idea of anal yet many women aren’t. That’s not all, of course, but most. It’s one of the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for because they think you’re going to refuse and think he’s dirty.
There’s nothing wrong with exploring anal sex together as a couple. Don’t simply assume you’re not going to like it unless you’ve tried it, because many women quite enjoy it. However, many don’t, so it’s one of those things you either try and don’t do again, or don’t try and forget about it. [Read: First time anal sex? The curious bum lover’s guide to doing everything right]
17. For you to call him an obscure name
Some guys love being called specific names during sex. It makes them feel powerful and like “the man”. It could be anything, but “daddy”, “big boy”, or something along those lines are pretty common.
He’s not likely to tell you because he’s worried you’ll laugh, but if you can do it with a straight face, perhaps it’s something you can both get a kick out of.
18. To be dominated
We mentioned you taking control a little earlier as one of the things guys like in bed but won’t ask for. However, being dominated takes it a step further.
If he admits this, it means he wants to be submissive and you be the one with the rules. Whips, chains, spanking, leather, dressing up, bondage, you name it, it’s all within the S&M group. [Read: BDSM tips and tricks for curious first timers]
The reason he won’t tell you is because he wrongly assumes that, as a man, he has to be the dominating one. Hell, if he wants you to don spiky black heels and give him a spanking, go for it!
19. Watching porn together
Your guy probably wants to watch porn with you but he doesn’t want to tell you because he thinks you’ll be repulsed. It’s very likely you won’t be repulsed at all, as most women have watched porn at some point.
There are many women-friendly porn titles out there these days and some which are directed by women. Choose a title together that you’re completely comfortable with and go for it. You might end up copying what’s happening on the screen. [Read: Porn for couples: Why it might just save your relationship]
20. To watch other people
This is voyeurism at its best and if we’re honest with ourselves, it’s something many of us are intrigued about. that doesn’t mean most of us end up doing it, but hearing another couple having sex is quite the turn on, no? Watching other people is one of the things guy like in bed but won’t ask for. How do you feel about it? [Read: Sexual voyeurism and why watching others get horny makes us so horny]
So that’s what a guy likes in bed, but what about you?
How many of those fantasies would you like too? Often, your guy won’t tell you what he really wants because he doesn’t want you to think badly of him or for you to feel uncomfortable. However, there is nothing wrong with vocalizing your fantasies and telling your partner what you’d like to do.
There’s no pressure to actually do it, simply talking about it is sometimes enough to make the next sexual encounter more than explosive!
[Read: How to talk about sex without sounding like a pervert]
There are many things guys like in bed but won’t ask for. Make it easier for him and ask him what he wants. The key to increased sexual intimacy is communication. Give it a try!
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